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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Background info.

I felt this post was needed in case anyone finds this blog and wants to understand where I'm at. I am in my mid thirties I have a loving wife and two young kids. One boy and one girl both under 5. My wife and I are both the same age. We are new home owners of a house as older than we are. We life in the Eastern united states in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains. We where both raised in a similar small towns and still live in one now. We both have issues with mainstream religion even though we have been brought up in the bible belt. We have been pushed away from religion for different reasons.

With me I really believe it was going to church with my grandfather as he slowly lost his fight with Alzheimer. I was a typical teenage at the time and I didn't want to do the family thing but I didn't have a choice. And he was an old regular baptist so the sermons where always centered around fire and brimstone. Looking back I wish I could do it again, I wish my wife could have meet him. He was a very unique and special person and I don't remember if I ever told him that I loved him. I don't remember telling any of my grandparents that I loved them I'm sure I did that's what kids do. But why don't I remember?


I've got a lot of questions I need to ask myself so my posts my wander and I apologize in advance. Yes I could edit these out and keep on topic but I want to stop ignoring my feelings and find out what type of person I really am. Open up all the doors and find out what has made me so closed to my feelings and to self evaluation. And why I tear up anytime a sappy sad song comes on the radio.

Here recently I have decided to start looking for a spiritual path that feels right. I have began to acknowledge that I'm a pagan. Meaning two things: one, I don't worship a "normal" religion and two, I am a follower of a nature-based religion. I still don't have all the details worked out but it's a start. I feel a deep connection to nature and I've been trying to strengthen that bond. Some of the happiest times of mine life where spent exploring the woods with my dogs. They would get a scent and we'd follow it or I'd get a whim to climb to the top of one mountain or another and we would. Being in the woods is what freedom feels like I guess that is why going camping recharges me so much. I can't wait to take the kids :)

Times they are a changing.

I can't write what I want to say cause I can't put it into words. But our life is about to take a major change for the best.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Fixing my diaita…

I hope to use this site to document some changes I want/need to make. My “way of life” has become cluttered and disorganized. I need to correct some bad habits and I want to find a spiritual path that I agree with. I have spent the last year or so learning and trying to live a “greener” lifestyle. I feel a need to share my progress and I believe this will give me a reason to keep looking.